date #3: mr. quantity

so finally, here it is the wrap up of the date marathons... and when i had to start cutting bait before things got overwhelming.

the last match date was something of a surprise. he texted me last minute to see if our date was still on. total surprise as i had completely written off the idea of a date on this monday evening. he was heading across the bridge back from his hospital in oakland, where he is entering his first year of residency. we decided to meet up at a bar in the financial district, something simple--drinks after work.

on my way over from work, he texted me that he was already there and was the "guy in the lime green shirt." oh wow! i never thought i would be looking for "the guy.... with the blue handkerchief, the rose in his lapel, etc." it was then it hit me, i have been on 3 practically blind dates in the past week and have not batted an eye. and honestly, so far, the 2 before had been pretty great. how come i was so scared to do this before? unnatural, some would say--but also quite liberating... and exciting. every date--a new adventure, every guy--a new someone to get to know and explore.

as i entered the bar, i saw a guy in a green shirt at the bar facing away from the door. i wanted to get a look at him to see what i was getting myself into before i sat down. also, i wanted him to see me from a distance first (it brings a little element of anticipation and wanting--which guys love). i walked passed him towards the back of the bar, acting as if to look around. i turned back around and immediately, we met eyes. i walked over to where he was seated. we hugged and sat down. oh, he was definitely cute. better looking than his photos portrayed--a definite pleasant surprise. we ordered beers and began to chat. he had high energy and loved to talk... mostly about himself, not quite to the point of obnoxious, but it was clear he was pretty proud of himself. definitely a resume--yale undergrad, columbia med, and a i-banking job somewhere in between. he tried to be humble by saying by calling his accomplishments "no big deal" but in my opinion, true humility is when you say nothing at all. i made purpose not to bat an eye as he listed his accolades and his "what i've seen, where i've been, what i've done list." it was not because i wasn't impressed or thought the list of things in my life were better, but because in all honesty, i wanted him to see that i wasn't interested in all of that.

as we saw on my first date, accomplishments say nothing about you. you can have done everything under the sun and be a total douche bag (or in date #1's case, a total bore). why do so many guys feel the need to show their feathers? i almost began to think some of these guys go on dates just so they can tell another girl how great they are--like a little shot of mojo for the week. i would prefer to spend time with quality (of who a guy truly is) over quantity (of what a guy has done). i mean, you can get quantity anywhere... even from match.com. sounds like i was ready to start whittling down the quantity and get to the quality.


i sat waiting for him to finish his list, zoning out every so often. the conversation continued. he asked me a few questions about me, and then continued about himself. when it came to his family, he skirted over the topic and proceeded to speak more about his travels to india and thailand. i can't say, i wasn't having fun or that his stories weren't interesting, because they were. he was actually pretty funny, and we even had some back and forth banter. "i just wasn't that into him." i actually thought to myself, so he's not really future date potential but there's a little chemistry here, maybe we'll make out. (omg! apparently this whole serial dating thing was turning me into a dude!)

he drove me home and we said our good nights. didn't get that makeout, as he chickened out last minute. it was one of those moments where both of you know it should happen, but he just couldn't pull it off at the exit. failure, dude, failure.

as i walked up the stairs to my apartment, i thought to myself... was i ready for quality over quantity? was i getting tired of the talent shows of dating? with my match.com options getting smaller (i.e. there are only so many eligible bachelors on the site) and as i continued to get closer to mr. pancakes, was the serial dating coming to an end?



to be continued...

ADH