the bouquet (part ii)

the wedding--easy, real, love. no other words. as i watched my cousin and his bride dance to their first song (babyface's "everytime i close my eyes")--his eyes glistening with the same tears that had rolled down his face just a couple of hours before as he watched his bride walk down the aisle towards the rest of their lives. as i looked on, i thought to myself that's true, unexplainable, indescribable but unquestionable love. my cousin who was sitting next to me whispered in my ear... "that will be you soon." hmm... i shrugged, maybe? but maybe not? maybe i'm just not the marrying type. i looked at the bride--so delicate and demure. as the new couple walked around to greet their guests, the bride--holding the train of her dress with one hand and my
cousin's hand in the other--quietly stared up to her new husband, as if to catch each of his words with her elongated eyelashes. could i be that woman? the wife to be seen and not heard, always looking up to, and never overshadowing her husband.

it was at that moment that I heard someone say my name. it was my cousin's mother. I turned around in my chair and noticed she was standing next to a very nice looking young man. "i have someone i would like to introduce you too." his name was jerome-- a groomsman
and one of my cousin's friends from college. i stood up to greet him. as I turned to face him, i watched him stare down at my long legs and then stare up at me as i begin to speak--my body towering over his. i extended my hand to his and realized that he noticeably was shaking. as our
conversation progressed, I noticed how unsure he was. and the less confident he seemed, the less interested I became. then the hostess came over the mic. thank god! saved by the bell! i told him nice meeting him and we should exchange info later...knowing full and well that was not going to happen but felt the need to close the conversation in true southern fashion.

as I sat back down at our table, my brother leaned over, "who was that? i think he was scared of u."

oh wow! so apparently my brother noticed too. his sister was not the delicate flower but a bit of a
beast! but then the thought dawned on me, maybe it wasn't about being a "type." maybe it's about finding the one can handle me... who wants me to be heard... the one who wants me to stand strong next to him. the one who does not fear me but finds the beauty in the beast. he entranced by me...and i in him.

then the time came. the hostess announced the throwing of the bouquet. i proudly walked to the dance floor to the chorus of beyonce's "single ladies." all of us single gals looked around, chuckling to one another at the hilarity of this tradition. the hostess counted off. 3-2-1. the bride launched the bouquet in the air.


we all looked up and followed the spinning bouquet of white and purple flowers heading toward us. but no one seemed to be reaching out to catch the bouquet. and then it happened...the floor... the bouquet crashed to the ground, petals strewn across the dance floor. oh, ooh, oh. and at this, i proudly headed back to my table, stepping over the flower petals as I exited the floor. no wedding bells right now for me... i'm just not ready for the bouquet yet.