the morning started watching the blue angels air show on a friend's rooftop in the marina. i'm still in awe at the way the angels fly so in line together like synchronized swimmers in the sky. oh, if only life, love, relationships could be like that... in sync, perfectly timed, easy. it was just as i was watching one of the planes zoom out of the clouds that i looked down at my phone. it was a text from my ex... a blast from the past zooming into my afternoon. the ex... he's a cyclist and a consultant that i met through a friend from from atlanta. talk about out of sync... i swear we were flying in two completely different air spaces. he was in high traffic one filled with many other women.
for now, we'll refer to him as the cyclist. (i am literally reluctant to give him a name because i'm pretty sure this is the last u will hear of him, especially after i recount the details of our meeting). he wanted to meet up as he was in town for fleet week festivities with a friend from the east bay. my thought... so what? might as well. so, i decided to walk from the marina over to the embarcadero. it gave me some time to think about my strategy. was i going to play friend, hard-to-get vixen, or vengeful ex? as i passed all of the cute cuddly couples and the happy-go-lucky vacation families in fisherman's wharf, i thought to myself...being friends with an ex could be possible and maybe even useful. i mean like maybe for new dating options.
i approached pier 23. as i crossed the street and headed toward the door of the bar, i saw him through the window. we immediately locked eyes. he smiled at me as if to say, "it's been too long." it reminded me of how swept away i was when i first met him. this guy has the body of an abercrombie model (lean with muscle in all the right places), the skin of blair underwood, and the smile of brad pitt. oh and did i mention, the ego of mike tyson. i walked over to the table where he and his friend were sitting. he stood up to give me a hug and clearly did the once over, totally focusing on my legs--on display courtesy of my patriotic striped mini dress. the cyclist has always been a big fan of the physique. the exchanged looks... definitely flirtation. maybe this would be more than a friendly encounter.
oh but then, he opened his mouth and his epic flaw... his ego...revealed itself. "you look good, i'm glad you didn't let yourself go like my other exes." whoa nelly! that is not a conversation opener. at those words, flirtation came to a screeching halt and was ready to jet out of the bar faster than a f-18. but then i realized that would be rude leaving 5 minutes after my arrival and i had told myself i was going to be the bigger person and try to be friends here. maybe after the initial shock of seeing one another after 6 months, things would level out. being action oriented, i quickly grabbed the closest waiter, ordered a vodka tonic (something fast acting), and focused my attention on casual topics, making sure to include his friend. his friend was actually quite nice, a school teacher with a witty sense of humor. he told me about his time in san francisco and in the east bay. whilst chatting with the friend, i glanced over at the cyclist. he stared off in the distance like a pouty child. then the question came up as to how the cyclist and i knew one another. quickly the cyclist snapped back into the conversation.
him: "we met when she moved here."
me: "we actually dated for awhile."
him: "oh yeah."
me: "well at least i assumed we were dating. ****** assumed differently."
him: "why is that?"
me: "because you were screwing other people."
him: "as men, we have to spread our seed."
me: "or spread something called AIDS. by the way, have u been tested lately."
he was speechless. wow, if I knew that would shut him up, i would have said that when i walked in the door. what an asshole! is it true that most men really cannot be faithful? or is it that they just have to find the right woman--the one that they are so fixated on that they don't see anyone else around them. i believe in the later. and actually his friend agreed. in my experience, it's not about whether a guy will cheat, it's about whether the woman will let him or not. you know those woman who say, i know he sleeps with other women but i have to ignore it because i really care about him. those are the women whose husbands cheat. but when he finds that one that he knows life could not be better without her, he will not jeopardize ever after for in the moment.
that's my take... and i'm sticking to it. here is why me and the cyclist are no longer together. that, and he is heartless (another story for another blog).
i stood up, moved close to the cyclist making sure to park my legs directly in his line of sight, and put my arms around his shoulder while whispering in his ear... "thanks for grabbing the check." and i was out!
payback is a bitch... and feels so good. almost as good as dancing the night away with my besties in the "stro" with men who don't care either way, which was exactly what i did.
ADH
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