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Monday, June 14, 2010

the perfect fit

here i am on a flight back from new york after an amazing weekend with my best girlfriends from college. my closest friends are truly the loves of my life and the people in the world who know me as well as the two people who gave birth to me. so, it was only right that i commission their help on my search.


i gave each of them my dating site name and password and told them to select people that could be a good match for me. although only a few of their selections really appealed to me, at the end of the day, all of the selections were motivated, successful, intellectual, good looking guys--what i would say is "my type." so, it brings up the question, is it that "my type" are the "wrong" types of guys? are the successful, good looking, corporate types the "bad boys" of the modern twenty year old (the cheaters, the liars, the womanizers)? one of my close friends wrote me an e-mail after she had heard that I had resorted to online dating:

In all seriousness, why do you think you dont meet the right kinds of men? You've been around the country and seem to have only been impressed by one guy - any theories? What was so great about f.w. and how can you meet more guys with those qualities?

after some thought, i have come to the conclusion that i am picky and am extremely reluctant to let myself fall for just anyone. i am extremely satisfied with my life and the people i currently share it with (i.e. my family and friends). and if i am going to let anyone infiltrate this brickhouse, they better be pretty f*ing amazing and most importantly, be a great fit! but even to the point of just meeting people and going on dates, i have too many amazing people in my life already to sacrifice the time i share with them to even spend two hours on a miserable date with someone who may create more harm than good (and risk me losing my sanity or my life for that matter).

so learning: maybe i have an opportunity to be a bit more open minded in my selections. don't get me wrong. i will not be loosening my standards by going on dates with guys who have different morals or social standards than myself. i.e., i will not be going on a date with mr. drug dealer who we have more recently found out works for san francisco bart or the ex-football player who keeps sending me "good morning pretty girl messages." (r.p. has screened this one and informed me that based on looks, she would not be my friend if i go out on a date with him.) but here, i am challenging myself (and my friends) to seek more guys who look, feel, seem different than the guys that i typically date (maybe some runners, some creative types, hell even maybe some hot asian dudes).


let's see where this gets us. the countdown is on.

2 comments:

  1. Maybe your type isn't really your type? Do you follow? Maybe you THINK they are your type, but, in actuality, they are the type you just THINK you should be with. Just some food for thought.

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